Josh-D. S. Davis

Xaminmo / Omnimax / Max Omni / Mad Scientist / Midnight Shadow / Radiation Master

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Happiness
Josh 2004 Happy
joshdavis
Take responsibility for your own happiness.
You are not a failure if you have made poor judgements.
It is okay if you have erred.
Find out what you did that caused things you didn't like.
Find out why you did those things.
Change the why, and your what will change automatically.
Position yourself such that your natural choices are more to your liking.
Any time you think it's just too much to handle,
take a brief pause and remember what love and happiness feel like.



This came to mind after discussions about active listening.
I have serious troubles with that, because I feel we need to be responsible for our own happiness.
If someone asks me for help, they must understand that I will try to help.
If I am blocked from helping, I will stop helping.
Maybe one day I will be better at listening and asking questions that aren't too pointed (pointy questions!).

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(Deleted comment)
Apparently, in "active listening", this means "let people complain to you, and you repeat back what you hear. This proves that you are listening, and helps the other person find the solution on their own by hearing it reflected back at them."

But so often, I think the real expectation is "listen to people complain, and suffer with them, because they will kick your ass for offering any input whatsoever."

Thought his is oversimplication. :)

(Deleted comment)
If someone says, "I know when I think ____ it's not productive, but ___," lately I am saying, "Well, STOP IT," in a teasing voice. Which I get is probably not terribly helpful, either, but it does break the introspection cycle when I've got to get on with the conversation. It's all about the why, I think. Getting to why is hard. And to an outsider, why might look really obvious. It also might be wrong.

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