Josh-Daniel S. Davis (joshdavis) wrote,
Josh-Daniel S. Davis

Stealing from butidigress

My name is Billy Evans. My Mom is typing this for me because I can't do it. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I am sick.

I was born with no body. The doctors gave me an artificial body...a burlap sack with leaves. They said it was the best they could do since we have no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we have no money. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.

Mommy doesn't work because she says no one hires crying people. I say "Don't cry, Mommy" and she gives me a hug. She hugs me a lot, even though she is allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze. I hope you will help me.

You can help me by forwarding this to everyone you know and even those you don't know. Dr. Johnson says that for every person you forward this to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA, who will collect prayers from schoolchildren all over the world and transmit the message into space so that the angels can hear it better and tell the Pope who will take up a special collection and send it to the Doctors so > > they can do a body transplant for me.

Maybe someday I can play baseball. Right now I can only be third base. I want to hold a kitty. I want to hold a kitty who doesn't try to chew on my body and bury poop in my leaves. I want a body before my leaves rot when I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. My mommy says it's because you're a cruel, heartless person who doesn't care about a little boy with no body. She says she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach juices and die a long slow miserable death, then burn in Hell forever. What kind of cruel person are you that you couldn't take five freaking minutes to help a poor nine-year old boy with no body? Please help me. I want to be happy, but it's hard.

Thank you. Billy "Smiley" Evans

from ,
#5301 +(986)- [X]

blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
FlipTopBx> is it modded?

#3936 +(810)- [X]

+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
+Christin1> how do i do that

#5598 +(798)- [X]

Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

#3630 +(588)- [X]

blazemore> omg i love this song
blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

#9501 +(574)- [X]

AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in the go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

#4602 +(520)- [X]

kolby> you still in english?

#5300 +(1708)- [X]

tatclass> er.
tatclass> hi.
andy\code> A common typo.
tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

#6460 +(909)- [X]

studdud> what the fuck is wtf
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