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Josh-D. S. Davis

Xaminmo / Omnimax / Max Omni / Mad Scientist / Midnight Shadow / Radiation Master

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extracted crosspost
Josh 201604 KWP
Life is flexible. We are gaseous atoms in containment. We ocillate in place. We drift away. We collide. We orbit. Without goals, we are not in control of our destinies. Goals require focus, effort, and determination. Goals mean compromise and sacrifice. We fear sacrifice. We want everything and to lose nothing. This is why we have no goals, no direction, no continuity. There is no way to stop change. While we stay still in wait for things to settle, the world keeps moving, life continues without us.

If you had to pick goals for your life as a whole, and for your life in the next 5 years, what would they be? Are they important to you? What are you doing to fulfill these goals? Why or why not? 1000 words or less, and you will be graded on content and technical skill.

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Well alrighty then, grade away, Crosspost Boy.

I do the backward of goal setting. I seem to create self-fulfilling prophecies. The mind is a powerful tool, and it is not always used for Good.
I would rather think about other people. But only people I am connected to, and only when I want to. I take my job seriously because I am held accountable for it. I need to be held accountable, which is why I seem to thrive in a classroom setting but falter in self-paced courses.
I like to dream, but without the 10 Easy Steps To a Bright Future. If I had to illustrate my thought processes, picture what someone looks like playing the xylophone. Could be part of the reason why I have trouble (mentally) multi-tasking.
I am also lazy. I was never really forced to do anything as a kid. I could talk my way out of anything, and into a lot of things that I wanted. I only care about pleasing the people that I care about pleasing. This would not include my parents.
It would seem that I live my life in this fashion: if I don't do/accomplish this (task), what could I lose? This is not something I'm proud of, but not very inclined to change it. If I don't have friends, I could lose my mind. If I don't bathe my kid, she will stink up the place. If I don't go to work, I don't get a paycheck. On a smaller scale, if I don't double check my documents for alignment, an account exec will notice and give me a hard time. So, generally I don't think of what I could GAIN by going back to school, kissing up to management, going to the fitness center every day. I just try to stay afloat. Ugh. That sounds bad just writing it all here.

Your viewpointe are not unique for society; however, your your use of emotion shows well.

Uniqueness, persuasiveness and bonus start at zero and works up. Everything else is subtracted from maximum score.

Curve will not be available until end of semester.

  9    Uniqueness           ( 10)
       +5 "without the 10 Easy Steps To a Bright Future"
       +2 Metaphysical reference
       +2 "backward of goal setting"
 15    Persuasiveness       ( 20)
       +5 Topic covered moderately well
       +5 emphasis and creativity
       +5 objectivity and subjectivity both covered
 18    Spelling             ( 20)
       -2 "exec" should not be an abbreviation
 39    Structural           ( 50)
       -2 Began sentences with "but" and "so"
       -2 xylophone sentence has mixed verb tense

       -2 elaboration on parents required
       -2 paragraphs not properly separated

       -1 "do/accomplish (task)" sentence is very non-MLA
       -1 capitalization emphasis should be italics.
       -1 uhg and last sentence should be separated from body of composition
  2    BONUS
       +2 297 words is less than 1000 words.
       +2 First composition completed.
 85    TOTAL SCORE     (100)

I'm working forty hours a week doing what I love to do for a non-profit organization that has contracts with the government which means my position is pretty secure so I can continue to work these hours with the purpose of supporting my family and increasing my quality of life, which is also the same reason I'm going to school twelve hours a semester while working full time, since this will eventually earn me a piece of paper which I can use to negotiate my way into earning even more money, thus accelerating the improvement of the quality of life for my family and I.

100 base score
Clear verbiage, and moving points.
-10 points for failure to follow directions.
Did not state goals explicitely.
-5 points for poor sentence structure.
The whole Paragraph is one run-on sentence.



No points for achieving my own personal goal, which was to complete the assignment in one big run-on sentence? That was intentional, you know. I actually had to work at it.

Re: Own personal goals

No no... personal goals only matter outside of class, and on every third Wednesday. :)

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