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Josh-D. S. Davis

Xaminmo / Omnimax / Max Omni / Mad Scientist / Midnight Shadow / Radiation Master

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More funnies from mom
Josh 201604 KWP
joshdavis

1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday....lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.

7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

15. You read about all these terrorists - most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of Immigration.
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Beautiful! Imo, #11 is particularly deep for a humor column.

This one's my favorite.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Sounds very "Steven Wright" :)

Hahahaha... I am so stealing that to post on my LJ. How are you doing, btw?

Sick, coughing, should sleep once in a while. Dad stuff is just sorta back there. I almost wish it could rear up more for a chathartic (sp) effect, but I did dump alot in LJ (some private), talked to him online, in my head and at the grave site, which all helped.

We'd only really become more social over the last couple of years. I was just getting into enjoying talking with him, and that's what hurts the most is that I won't get to talk to him anymore. When I follow down that path is when it hurts, but I worry that my poor memory will make even more details of him fade. :/

I'm sorry. Yes, sleep, dammit! Get better.

That does suck. Altho it's great that you at least had the opportunity to know him better at all. If you pass on to others what he was like, then his memory won't fade as much? I dunno... if you ever want to talk about it, let me know. I'm a good listener.

*nod* Since his passing, I've been less worried about my mannerisms that could be percieved to be similar to him. I like that my cough sounds like his. Luckily, many of my basic mannerisms are similar to his. I'm physiologically similar (imagine that!), and I grew up around him, learned from him, and so I am part him. I get to pass that on to Max and Khai and my friends and such.

I wish he'd learned to look at his own behaviour more. He had been sad and lonely for a long time because he had a habit of running off people - it takes a special sort of person to deal with him...

Luckily, he did have a few friends, and his best ones I think were some of his most recent ones. Don, a guy who bought a boat from him, and ended up becoming a tennant more or less... and then Dr. French at our Church who went and visited him weekly through more than half of 2002.

I just guess I want him to still be around. Sometimes I'm still shocked, thinking about him, realizing he's dead.

It's sorta hard for me to know what to say since I've never lost anyone who I was close to and didn't already know was more than ready to go, and wlel, you know my parental deal. But I am sorry that you lost him when you were just starting to really enjoy him.

I'm willing to listen anytime, even if I have no idea what to say.

You do well when you don't know what to say. Maybe that's why you do well.
:)


I'm pretty sure #13 is from Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy...

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