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Josh-D. S. Davis

Xaminmo / Omnimax / Max Omni / Mad Scientist / Midnight Shadow / Radiation Master

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bonsai kittens!
Josh 201604 KWP

Some people in the SGOA list were throwing a fit over this, even got 250 names on a petition... Aparently even animal rights activists have threatened this guy's life.

Obviously, there are people in the world who are not intelligent enough to know an elaborate joke when it kicks them in the head.

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my e-mail to their guestbook

Dear Bonai Kitten,
I have been working extensively on similar systems, and had failed with my first child, may she rest in peace, and with our neighbor's dog (thanks for not suing!). After seeing the success you have had with kittens, and the Japanese work on shaped fruit.
I have found that when grown together in a confined space, kittens and square watermellons can actually become symbiotic. Out half-siamese cat named Flustrip produces watermellon cubes weekly. I have made arrangements to sell these (genetic clones from 6-month epithelial cells) through a Japanese shipping firm in Brooklyn.
Because of the hybrid cat/watermelon, they can actually survive in a warehouse for up to 3 weeks without being fed or watered. They wilt a bit; however, a week of aggressive watering will plump them back up.
Periodically, we have a defect that loses it's squareness, but our test studies show that round watermellon cats are sufficiently entertaining so as to not require warranty service.
If interested, OmniTech Industries would be willing to license the technology to Bonsai Kitten for the cost of $2.50 per unit produced. Please contact if interested.

Thank you for your time. Please let me know if you need anything further.

Yours truly,
Hsoj Sivad

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