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Josh-D. S. Davis

Xaminmo / Omnimax / Max Omni / Mad Scientist / Midnight Shadow / Radiation Master

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Josh 201604 KWP
So Matt made a post about Asperger's.
I think it's realted to Jenny's new charge involving a mid function autistic child.

He posted a link to the wikipedia, which is, of course, the end all, be all of information.

Anyway, As I read through the PDD links of Asperger's Syndrome, High Function Autism, etc,
I continue to see alot of things which strike home to me.
Difficulty interpereting body language and facial expressions until they can be logically mapped out,
Sensory overload, social interaction issues, etc.

In elementary school, the school counsellor said I has "some sort of learning disability, possibly ADD, but it wasn't severe enough to require therapy." I recall alot of little things, nuances, functional things, that seem to match.

It's not as impeding now as then, but I still find things strange, in ways that I've always had trouble articulating.
So then I read more of the Wikipedia article and it's links,
and it seems to make sense.

Of course, it's not really possible to diagnose one's self for psych disorders; however, there's a comfort in the familiarity in the descriptions.

So anyway, what spurned me to actually post about it separately was this statement, which in and of itself doesn't mean much, but it seemed really important at the time:
For example, many people with Asperger's syndrome have difficulty with eye contact. Some make very little eye contact because they find it overwhelming

I'm definitely suceptible to sensory overload and internal echo, but this one has always gotten me. Making eyecontact for more than a second or two is just unbearably uncomfortable. It's like one of the few times I've put eye drops in. My eyes go nuts and try to get away, even before the drop hits. It's pretty close to that. And it's embarrasing. So I just stare off into space and turn off my vision. I build my internal map of things in it's pseudo-visual, pseudo-abstract-spatial sort of way.

And then people look over their shoulders to see what I'm looking at.

Other interesting things:
Asperger's syndrome can involve an intense and obsessive level of focus on things of interest... Particularly common interests are means of transport (such as trains), computers, and dinosaurs... In pursuit of these interests, the individual with Asperger's often manifests extremely sophisticated reason, an almost obsessive focus, and eidetic memory (the ability to recall images, sounds, or objects in memory with great accuracy and in seemingly unlimited volume.).

Ok, nevermind. I realized I was about to quote huge sections of the article, so I'll just let you go there.

They make reference to hyperlexia which describes Max; however, not in the hyperlexia article... more in the asperger's article. He makes some awesome words.

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Making eyecontact for more than a second or two is just unbearably uncomfortable. It's like one of the few times I've put eye drops in. My eyes go nuts and try to get away, even before the drop hits.

I can do stuff to my eyes.. but someone try to get close to them and that person will end up hurt. I think that's the reason I have 20/20 since no one.. except one doctor has touched my eyes and he had to sedate me to do it. No one.. not even the lady that whose womb I came from can get close to my eyes without some sort of injury.

I have ADD .. but in a good way.. laid back can take in and process multiple diffrent forms of information.. but I don't get all hyper. Heh.. call me the ADDD.. attention deficit depressive disorder.

Also I think ADD is not a "learning disablity". We as humans have evolved over time and what we call ADD is our next step. Rather than learning or understanding what's going on from one source we are evolving to understand what is going on from multiple sources at once. However people still think we should only resonably do one thing at a time as a kid, however that is the perfect time to give us 5 things to do.

As far as your thoughts or matching of things together with Asperger's then why not go get tested.. do it twice from 2 seperate doctors and then see what they find. Same results then hey .. you got X ... diffrent results then hey I'm betting you are normal. I say 2 since some doctors say you have X when you don't as is in most ADHD cases.. same goes for Bipolar. Also if the testing takes 5 minutes and you just answer questions and your mind ins't tested.. then that's not a good doc to stick with. This isn't a sore throat this is the mind and your mood, what you ate, sleep amount, etc will affect any mental testing or analyzation. If you go in tired, not eaten, and feel overall just shitty then you will told you are depressed .. if you have any spurts of energy during that time you might also get Bipolar added on.

Hey.. but then again.. you might just be normal and have a few quirks.

A cool term that I ran into is "Neurodivergent". It's not a disease, it's a difference.

The ADD divergence can be tapped for intense learning, assuming you choose the correct stimulii.

AS and autism testing are focussed strongly on children. Bipolarity is testable, and ADHD...well, everyone is ADHD. Hence smoking, coffee, and other historical stimulant usage.

well, not EVERYONE.

My swings aren't intense enough to really qualify for BPD. I have swings, everyone does, but it's not something that needs controlling and it doesn't signifigantly affect me.

AS has limited testing available.

Plus, having a diagnosis of a "pervasive developmental disorder", or any sort of neurological disorder could potentially be a problem in the future. I'd prefer to be quirky, and just happen to be quirky in a suite of ways that happens to be strikingly similar to this high-function group.

I've been "pretty sure" that I wasn't normal since I was 8 or 9, so there's no real risk of normality, even if normality really existed. I'm divergent enough from "the norm" to be readily noticible by lots of people.

blah blah blah blah.

I think the real issue is that if I were diagnosed, I'd be telling everyone, which would get old. I'd use it as an excuse, comparison, etc all the time.

normal's boring. I'd rather be eccentric.

"Who's brain did you bring me!?!?!"
"Um... Abbey, someone..."

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Ah, we now should make a new continuum... The Geek-Asperger's continnum. It's a triangular plane with geek on one vertex, asperger's on another, and the ineffable "normal" on the third. So someone could be on the geek-normal line, with some specific geek quotient, but an AS quotient of near zero.

Since it's a continuum, I don't think too many people are on any of the lines. I know I'm definitely more towards the geek vertex than the normal vertex, but I don't think I'm diametrically opposed to the AS vertex.

Though, since AS is part of the autism spectrum, the vertex would probably actually have to be full-blown, low function autism. But then, you'd need a way to differentiate geekdom from savantism, if there is a differentiation at all.

Hrm. Maybe not.

Anyway, If I had to guess, I'd say I'm variant-normal, or divergent, but not overly diseased, since I seem to be doing moderately OK in life. But, that's part of what HFA & AS involved. It's the joy of vague descriptions. No one is free from labels. :)

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AHH! AHH! The label! It says servings per container, 1039564956620562086.


Geometry, I would do proofs. Algebra, well, I felt the need to skip obvious steps. Bleh.

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I'm sorry, there is an inaccuracy here.

Your response was very articulate. It reads easily.

That is all.

I'll second that. You articulated it very well.

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Alot of my efforts are involved in defining and reshaping patterns.

I've got to pick some sort of premise on which to research something.

Usually it is a comparison or contrast relative to myself or someone else.

I personally feel that:
Everyone is unique in some fashion or another
Everyone is alike in some fashion or another
There are subtle aspects to defining anything and anyone
Components of people can be defined by compare/contrast against neurological "conditions"
In the grand list of "conditions", this is one to which I can personally relate closer than to most others.

I mean, I get depressed, but not all the time.
I get elated to the point of altered state of mind, but not all the time.
I don't shift often enough or troublingly enough to be really "out of the norm" such as I comprehend "normal"
Lots of thisses and thatses, me thinks.

Am I high-function autistic? Who knows?
It's a fun exercise, and I can definitely relate to the antics of people who are and have been.
Maybe I'm a pretender... Ok, definitely I'm a pretender, but still.

I'm just having fun exploring.

No posts should be interpreted as the express or implied views of all subsections of my brain, nor dictations of fact, law, or absolutes, other than this comment about not being absolute.

Or Absolut. No clear, ethanol rich, potato whisky coming out of MY head.

Yah, I didn't know the term "intern's disease" but the concept is why I said, somewhere, in some post, at some point today, I think, that it's not really possible to diagnose ones own mental state too accurately.

Yah, I chose hyperlexia loosely as a term due to some of the example in the AS page. The hyperlexia page itself seems a lot more intense/problematic. But, the viewer count of this page is low enough to not warrant the effort to adjust/correct it.

I haven't convinced myself of anything really, other than I can see a large similarity in descriptions of AS in many of the issues I've had in the past and present, psychologically anyway. Whether it defines me or not is beyond the scope of my willingness to explore; however, it gives me a keyword to poke around on for potential tools.

I seem to run into AS every couple of years, and get really excited about it, but then run out of steam because there's nothing to be done. It's like saying "I learn best visually and tactilly/spatially versus audibly". There's no fix, cure, or purpose for seeking either. It's just people, including me to some extent, struggling for some way to oversimplify a large group of vaguely related traits in order to decrease the effort and time involved in communicating that group of concepts to others.

Or something like that.

*tag* You're it.

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Communication issues are common in the autism spectrum due to limited ability to infer mindset of others. On the same token, it is common in these groups to have visual/spatial skills and organization skills of some form or another.

You should surf the links hanging off of the main post above and possibly in Matt's post and see how much you can relate to. Everyone has one here, one there, and people tend to self-associate a few extras. However, many of the traits are grouped together and have resources online for further exploration of working with those traits.

You are a infrastructure person, I am a computer person, but other than that, we both do pretty much the same thing. Figure out all there is to know, then this magical realignment of things occurrs internally, and then you just do things the right way, document along the way... poof.

The key to profitability of these skills is marketing. You have to find people who are capable of believing and understanding your skill, and they should have the clout and/or selling skills to get you properly positioned.

In performing the work, the key is to have full access to all information, and that it should be conveyed accurately and proved. None of this "I think it's this way."

You do well with computers, because they work that way; however, your skill is less computer-centric than mine. You have a stronger afinity towards organization level structures.

And "End Random Tangents" sounds like a command rather than a place marker.

Like, "End Roadwork" signs. I always want to put another orange sign under it that says "Forever". Not that I think roadwork should be ended, but because it would show other people the silly implications I infer from the rotated-square-not-rhombus-could-be-a-diamond shapes.

Just out of curiosity, are you and Erica fans of the phonics thing? Just wondering because of all your title thingies to your posts.

foh-neh-tih-klee spee-king, ahee ahm uh dik-shuh-neh-ree

I'm just crazy, that's all.

It's not ALL of my titles.

Phonics are Phony?

Or hrm, there was the joke-essay from way back that talked about the simplification of English... lemme see if I can find it. Ah, yes, here it is, or at least, a more current iteration:
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's govt conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": -- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.


But for me, it's like a game. Try to spell it like a dictionary would in the pronounciation guide.

Except I don't have all of the umlauts, dipthongs, and other guudeez.

Re: foh-neh-tih-klee spee-king, ahee ahm uh dik-shuh-neh-ree

Ok, I'll agree with the crazy part. I'll also throw in that you must have waaay too much time on your hands, which is funny, considering how busy your job seems to keep you! :)

Re: foh-neh-tih-klee spee-king, ahee ahm uh dik-shuh-neh-ree

Job is only intermittantly busy. I tend to fixate on things.

And phoneticizing things really doesn't take much extra time. Finding the EuroEnglish document took a REALLY long time. I think about 5 minutes. I was about to give up. But it was worth it. :)

what are you saying in your lj pic?

Hih thehh wihh foo

or something like that.

They are multiple frames from different times in a recording the made on the day Max was born. I THINK they're in time order related to eachother, but there were seconds or minutes between them. I'd just tried to take various stills, and ended up joining them together and deleting the ones where my head was way off to the side, etc.

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