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Josh-D. S. Davis

Xaminmo / Omnimax / Max Omni / Mad Scientist / Midnight Shadow / Radiation Master

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Scott's image - LOLcats Bible
Josh 201604 KWP
joshdavis
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Genesis

1 in teh beginning, Invisible Man make univerz. 2Invisible Earth wuz invisible. 3Invisible Man say, "I can has light." Gots light. 4Light iz good, iz not dark. 5Invisible Man can has day and nite. it be furst.

6Invisible Man can has expanz. 7Below expanz is water. It happen. 8Above expanz he call 'sky'. it get dark, then lite: nex day

9Invisible man can has water over here, no water over ther. It happen. 10Not water iz 'land'. Water iz 'seas'. Iz good.

11Invisible Man say, "I can has vegitashun." It happen. 12Land has lots vegetashun, all kindz. Iz good. 13It get dark again, then lite: day tree.

14Invisible Man say, "I can has big lite in day, small light in nite." 15Teh Earth gots light. It happen. 16Invisible Man make big lite in day, small light in nite. He make starz, too. 17They go in sky. 18It good. 19It get dark again, then lite: day fore.

20Invisible Man say, "I can has fish n' birdz." 21Fish go in water, birdz go in sky. It good. 22Invisible Man say, "make lots little fish and little birdz. Fish make fish in water; birdz make birdz in air." 23It get dark again, then lite: day fife.

24Invisible Man say, "I can has aminulz." It happen. 25Invisible Man make kitteh n' cowz n' snakez n' stuff. Iz good.

26Invisible Man say, "I can has man that look like me." He rulez. 27Invisible Man make man like him, boy and gurl.

28Invisible Man tell man, "ur in mai Earth, pwnz0rz mai aminulz". 29And u eats fruitz. 30Aminulz eats greenz.

31Invisible Man saws creayshunz; iz good. It get dark again, then lite: day sicks.

2 Teh heavenz n' teh Earth wur done. 2Invisible Man finish on day sevn. He rest: Caturday! Invisible Man make Caturday holy 'cuz he no work.

Adam n Eve

This wuz how teh Heven n teh Earth wuz made. When Invisible Man creat dem, ther wuz no plantz cuz ther wuz no rain n no man. Then water cames. Invisible Man make man from durt. He breath on man. Man can has life.

Invisible Man can has Garden o Eden. Man goes in Garden. Invisible Man made treez that look purty n taste yummy. Garden can has in middle, good tree n bad tree.

A river goes out of Garden fore wayz. One way iz Pishon: it go thru Havilah, land o gold. (Gold iz good. Ther iz pearlz n onyx, too.) Two way is Gihon: it go thru Cush. Tree way is Tigris: it go bia Asshur. Fore way is Euphrates.

Invisible Man put man in Garden o Eden to wurk ther. Invisible Man say, "u can eats from any tree- but not good-bad tree 'cuz u will has death."

Invisible Man say, "Iz not good for man to be 'lone. I make helpur."

Invisible Man made kittehs n birdz. He take aminulz to man so man can name dem. What man call aminulz, that was name. Man name cowz n birdz n kitteh, but he not have helpur. 21Invisible Man make man tierd. When

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You know, this is a bit strange. I've never studied Genesis before, and just reading this aloud I'm noticing something strange. In verse 26, Invisible man make boy and gurl. But then, in Chapter 2, Invisible Man say iz not good for man to be 'lone. He made helpur. So like ... wtf?

That's inconsistent!

Genesis 1 is sort of a summary chapter for the entire Genesis Device story.

In Gen 2:4
When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens- 5 and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth [b] and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth [c] and there was no man to work the ground, 6 but streams [d] came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground- 7 the LORD God formed the man [e] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.


So, it basically explains a subset of the info in more detail.

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